Monday, June 27, 2005


I'll see you in ... Where?

One day, God was out surveying His realm and he wandered into the North 40. And He saw something that made him Angry: The fence between His property and The Other Guy's had been moved, nearly 100 feet further in!
Oh, He was Mad, and when He looked over the fence he saw The Other Guy watching.
God said majestically, "Move that fence back where it belongs."
TOG just grinned.
God, Fuming, said, "MOVE that FENCE back WHERE it beLONGS!"
The former angel just ... dare we say it? ... thumbed his nose at God!
Oh, God was really Steaming now. He said, gritting His teeth, "You better move that fence or I'll ... I'll ... I'll ..."
And Satan was grinning even more. "You'll what?" he sniggered cockily. "You'll what?"
God managed to snarl, "I'll SUE!"
And the ol' devil just rolled around on the ground, he was laughing so hard. "Where are You gonna get a lawyer?"

Thursday, June 16, 2005


Silence is ... green?

Christian O'Sullivan had been hailed the most intelligent Irish man for three years running. He had won the top prizes on all the Irish game shows. It was suggested by the Irish Mensa board that he should enter into the English Mastermind Championships. He did, and won a place.
On the evening of the competition, Christian enters from the crowd and places himself on the leather seat and makes himself comfortable. The lights dim and a spot light points at his face.
The host says, "Christian, what subject are you studying?"
Christian responds, "Irish history."
"Very well" says the host, "your first question: In what year did the Easter Rising take place?"
Christian responds, "Pass."
"OK," says the host, "who was the leader of the Easter Rising?"
Christian responds, "Pass."
The host tries again: "How long did the Easter Rising last?"
Christian responds, "Pass"
A voice shouts from the crowd, "Good man, Christian. Tell the English nothing!"

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